Why Do Marriage Fail, What did I do?

Head of Household

In a marriage who is the head of household? In today’s world, it’s any couple who provides for their family. There isn’t one person it’s both. Whether you are heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual or transgender people. We are all head of household. We all are providing. Having said that it’s your household and you can nominate anyone you want.

In my household, it’s my husband. I’m still old-fashioned so my husband is the head of the household because he provides for all my needs and wants. Yes, I work as well. I’m so glad to find a man that have the same morals as I do. The greatest part of our marriage is he is also old fashion and he wants to do his part.

In our marriage, we have parts to uphold. I am his wife and I do wify things like cooking, cleaning, and nagging hahaha. He does his part like being a handyman, yard work, and take out the trash.

Don’t get me wrong. I do it because I want to do it. Not because I should do it. I know my place as a woman. My husband never expects me to do it. Same with him he knows what he needs to do as a man what part he should be doing.

Because we are adults and no one should be telling the other what to do. Another thing I am a woman and just because I am one doesn’t mean I will submit to anyone. I am enough and we don’t need anyone’s approval to be me.

Learn to be an independent individual.

Not Understanding each other’s situation

The biggest problem that we as a couple argues is not about money. Money plays a part but not the breaking point. The biggest problem is understanding each other.

Here’s an example:

The husband works from home. He’s always on the PC. Clicking away programming and working hard staring at the PC screen. For hours now his eyes are watering, his fingers are tired, his wrists are getting symptoms of carpal tunnel, and his head feels like a ton on his shoulders.

The children are home and wanting dads attention. He shoos them away. “Daddy’s busy please go play with mommy, I’ll be right there.” Hours later he’s still working. He finally takes a break he looked at his phone and notice that he has a game that he hadn’t played in a while. He opens it to hit a few buttons to relax from working.

The wife comes in just in time to see him playing games. “Is this what you do all day? Play games? Bad enough all you do is get on your PC and glued to it all day and play games all the time. You don’t have time for the kids. For crying out loud husband you’re too much!”

As the husband tried an endless time to explain why she wouldn’t let him speak. He now is angry and walks away because he had been working all day. He doesn’t need to listen to all the nagging.

The roles could be reversed. Understanding each other is the key to better communication.

My solution to this is the husband knowing that his wife will nag him to death should take breaks in between to play with the kids for 15 minutes and talk to his wife. Explain what his agenda for today will be like.

The wife should understand and know that his work is important so he can provide for the family. Keep the children from buggy daddy until he takes a break. If you are married and knowing what each other do for a living should understand that both occupations are as equally important.

So, people if your partner takes a break to play his game please do not nag at them. You’ll just add to the pain he’s already enduring. To the worker when taking the time to check your phone check the family at home before looking at your phone. Family comes first!

You shouldn’t expect a person to change for you. You need to understand that he can’t change you and you can’t change him. If he changes for you that is the best thing ever.

Time management is important when working from home.

Who’s the Boss

Who is the boss in your household? In my household behind a closed door, I am the boss. Why, because he lets me. All kidding aside, In reality, there should not be a boss in a relationship. You are the boss of you. Meaning you should know what roles you play. How many hats you can wear. It’s okay to ask for help.

Marriage isn’t about who should lead. It’s about teamwork. If you can’t continue you need to know that your partner can. I know some women tend to be the boss of her husband. Hey if it works in your relationship who am I to tell you, NO? That’s none of my business if that’s how it is in yours.

I never want to be the boss of my husband however it’s tempting. And I know he would let me. But it’s not like that. We respect each other.

You are your own boss

His, Her’s and Ours

The one thing that could potentially be an issue would be children that are from a previous relationship. I know the mama bears out there. The ones who are in a relationship who would not allow the other partner to discipline her child. “It’s my child it’s not yours so if you have a problem with my child you need to come by me first.”

That folks are completely normal. I’m sure the other partner thinks the same way. Learning to understand where each other comes from is a better way to communicate.

Having said that it should be understood before marriage. Once you are married wouldn’t the children be ours instead of mine and yours? That understanding of mine, yours, and ours should be reviewed already.

For example:

A man with his own child and a woman with her own child gets married. She has hers and he has his. Soon after they got theirs. As the children grew up together one take a liking more to theirs and the child from a previous relationship and started to neglect the other none biological kid.

The couple notices this favoritism and starts to ask questions. One accused the other and the other denies it. Hatred started.

My solution when you have children from a previous relationship doesn’t play favorites that will only lead to hatred, arguing, and depression for the children.

Mama/papa bear needs to relax if the person you married discipline your child. Let’s have an understanding right now that if your child is rowdy it’s okay for the other partner to discipline the child as long as the child is not being abused physically or mentally.

Money is The Root of All Evil

Money is it really the root of all Evil? No simple as that. Money plays a big part in your life. You need money to buy food, keep a roof over your head, pays for your utilities and makes your life comfortable but it will not be the evil one.

The evil one is you the spender. Learn to spend your money wisely. Let’s put it this way if you can’t afford to purchase an item with cash, you can’t afford it. Credit card is not evil. It doesn’t come to you if you didn’t apply for it.

Learn to make passive income.

Why do marriage fail has a lot of factors but if you learn to understand each other you can communicate with each other and move forward. Marriage can fail without all of what I mentioned above.

Final Thought

Marriage is hard work. It isn’t a happily ever after ending. You make your own happy ending. There is one thing I recommend is, if your relationship, is toxic, you come to a point where you are done, wants to give up, already tried your best and failed.

Leave, if you are so miserable that every word you say is to hit someone below the belt and the other spits words of fire your way it’s time to move on.

Don’t do stay for the children sake. You will only teach them a bad relationship and that’s how it works. It’s better for the children to learn happiness knowing that their parents are happy being apart with someone else. It’s time to let go.

There’s nothing you can do to hold anyone back if they don’t love you anymore. It is gone. By now there’s no love from you and vise versa.

Thank you for reading my blog. I really appreciated your time as yours are as valuable as mine. If you have any comments, questions, or complaints please feel free to do so.

Disclaimer:

I am NOT a Doctor or a psychologist or a marriage counselor. This information gathered is from what I’ve researched and from personal experiences. What I have seen and had given advice too. Whether they listened to me or not it was an educational guess at the time of the conversation. This post is not written to consult anyone. It is purely for entertainment purposes and storytelling. A work of fiction based on real events that I had experienced personally. If an event resembles anyone it is all purely coincidental and should not be taken seriously. Thank you. Have a great day!

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16 thoughts on “Why Do Marriage Fail, What did I do?”

  1. To be honest I have heard stats on the number of marriages that fail due to money issues and I personally feel like this more often than not plays a role in divorces whether people realise it or not!

    Personally we have found that by being completely open, honest and transparent about all of our money, how much we earn, where we spend it and what we want to do with it brings us together, unites us and is part of the fun planning what we want to do (or where we want to travel to) in the upcoming months.

    Thanks so much for this awesome insight, I hope a lot of people benefit from reading it.

    Reply
  2. Great info, I am not married, but it is definitely info that people who think that you are going to be in the honeymoon stage forever need to know or at least consider.

    Reply
    • That’s right, however, don’t we still want to be in that stage a little longer? Be honest and understand each other and communicate better. Thanks for coming.

      Reply
  3. Oh, I hope that didn’t happen with you personally, because that is always so heartbreaking and painful…

    That is the incredibly touchy story – keep up your work, I would love to see more from you!

    Reply
  4. Hi, thanks for the advice.
    I totally agree that marriage is hard work – sometimes.
    Sometimes the only thing holding you back are the kids. You are right it’s only sensible to move on if the marriage does not work.
    Having said that, you should try all possible solutions first.
    Thanks,
    Fred

    Reply
    • Hi, Fred thanks for stopping by and that is absolutely correct. You must try hard to keep a marriage because if you sit down and talk it through you find that you are just arguing about the smallest thing.

      When children are involved it’s even harder. I recommend that if you are having a hard time just remembered why you fell in love for the first time?

      I came from a broken family so that is something I never wanted to happen, but it did.

      Devorce is something I would never wish upon even my enemy.

      Please check out

      https://theaffiliatemarketingchallenge.com/Jointoday

      If you or anyone wants to make extra income.

      Have a great day!

      Reply
  5. Your first example reminds me recently a Korean celebrity couple is getting a divorce, the reason for their separation is the differences in their personalities and can’t always get along well.
    I totally agree with your point, understanding each other and having a good conversation is a key point to solve problems.
    Thanks for sharing those stories and offering good advice.

    Reply
    • Lol, wow, really? I must check it out. Do you remember the title?

      My reason for the understanding part first is because my husband is a different race and they do things differently from my race.

      And it’s better to understand that we are a little different but still humans.

      I can communicate with you all I want with lies but if you understand where each one comes from, their roots, you have a better understanding.

      Thank you for stopping by.

      Reply
  6. Interesting post on why marriages fail. I agree that in any relationship you have to understand each other. I also believe that communication is very important. A successful relationship normally doesn’t just happen. It takes work, and dedication to each other and the success of the relationship. This article will help many people that are having struggles in their marriages.

    Reply
    • I totally agree with you. Marriage does take work. As I was replying to another comment. I prefer to imply the understanding of each other and then communicate.

      Thanks for coming by. Have a great day!

      Reply
  7. I really enjoyed reading this well written post as you have some great common sense ideas. You are so right in that marriage should be an equal partnership. Communication is vital and I love your idea of making compromises and comparing notes at the start of the day.

    Reply
  8. Thank you, Kelyee, for the excellent article. There is certainly plenty of blame to go around when any marriage ends. I was married for 23 years and when mine ended, I took all the blame. It’s been rough and there have been some low points I didn’t think I’d ever get to but I know I’ll be better for it in the end.

    Reply
    • I’m sorry to hear that. And thank you for the compliment.

      My first one lasted 10 years and together for 13. Lol, I guess 13 is an unlucky number for him. Because he was caught cheating on their 13th years of marriage.

      Oh well, life goes on. Have a great day!

      Reply

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